Midterms and Miscellaneous.

So midterms are just three days away....and I am wayyyyyy not happy about that. My religion midterm is going to kick my butt, big time. American Lit shouldn't be so bad, though, so maybe it will balance out.

Thankfully, my American History midterm is not until I get back from Spring Break. However, that means I actually will have to study for it OVER Spring Break....ahhh, such is life.

My religion teacher has also given us insane amounts of homework over Spring Break....loser.

ANYWAY, I will be home in three days. I am super stoked. I mean, I like school and all, but I love home so much more. Family, boyfriend, dogs....who could ask for anything better than all that in one place?? I submit that there is nothing better than that.

I am in the middle of doing religion reading (well, I was, but I decided to post on here, instead).

I was searching online devotions today, and came across one whose format I really liked. I will post it now.

The Word:
“Do not let your heart be troubled. You trust God. Now trust in Me.” John 14:1

Prayer:
Jesus, You call me to trust you. There are two issues that are really big here: pride and control.

#1Pride. I thought that having to ask for help and support would be a sign of weakness, a blow to my ego. I want to be like you, Jesus. But you never had to ask for help, did you? Then I’m reminded of Luke 23:26 where Simon followed you and carried your cross. To not ask for help is arrogance. To humble myself and ask is truly trusting you.

#2 Control. I know I’m supposed to leave the consequences up to you, God. I need to just trust and obey. But I feel I need to direct the outcome or else someone else will. Perhaps it will be the world or some ungodly person. But the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Help me let go of control! I need to see and trust you as a sovereign and good God who is in control.

Help me walk by trust, not by sight or my pride and control.

Act of Devotion:
What is the biggest thing in your life right now that you need to trust God with? What will it take for you to give it up to Him?

So there is my devotion for today. I think it's rather apropos, don't you??

Live, Laugh, Love, Vote Clinton.

Much Love,

<3 Becca

Musings.

Okay, so my thoughts for today:

1.) I hate rain. Rain = pain. I can't type a lot right now because I took one of my muscle relaxers and am still a little bit out of it.

2.) I abso-freakin-lutely can't wait until my midterms are over Friday and I get to go home for spring break.

3.) I really like Ernest Hemingway.

4.) I have the best damn boyfriend on the face of the planet, and then some. Hands down.

That is all.

Peace, Love, and Tofu.

<3>

Procrastination and Fields of Gold.

Hello all.

All....yeah....that's a riot....there are only like, two people who read this anyway....maybe only one.

ANYWAY

So I should totally be doing homework right now....ahh well, it happens. (Or doesn't happen).

I have been listening to Eva Cassidy's version of "Fields of Gold" on repeat for about an hour, give or take 10 minutes. It brings back a lot of good memories. As at least one of you knows (mom), I have an emotional attachment to this song, because Michelle Kwan skated to it at the 2002 Olympic exhibitions. Wow....I can't believe that was over 6 years ago....time has gone so fast. I remember one night, in particular, as soon as the 2002 Olympics were ending, and I was getting my shower ready, I thought to myself, "I will be 17 the next time the Winter Olympics come around." Seriously, I remember thinking that to myself, perfectly clear as if it were just yesterday. I thought to myself also, "Michelle will DEFINITELY win in 2006." Well....two years have come and gone since the 06 Olympics in Turino, Italy. I was 17, and Michelle did not win. She did not even get to compete due to a stupid injury. She is now a student at the University of Colorado at Denver, and will probably not be in the competitive scene for figure skating anymore. Listening to the aforementioned song today has brought up the memories of her competitive skating days....in particular when I saw her skate at the Champions on Ice tour show at Rupp Arena in Lexington on May 24, 2002. That was also the night I got to meet her, which I still say is one of the happiest nights of my life up to this point. I am sure happier times are to some, and have come, but that is right up there toward the top.

I have grown so much since then. I'm 6 years older and 20 years wiser, it seems. A lot has happened since then, none of which I would take back for anything, and some of which I want to preserve forever. Mainly, though, I just miss being as carefree as I was back then. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my life right now for anything, but I just wish I had the same happy-go-lucky attitude as I had wayyyy back in 02.

Wow....I started out writing this blog just thinking I was just going to briefly mention that I was listening to Fields of Gold and then move on. Oh well....so much for that. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and although the subject of this blog is seemingly insignificant, it is one of them, indeed.

That is all I have for now.

Much Love,

<3 Becca

Okay, so I lied. I didn't post a decent length blog when I said I was going to. Oh well, life happens.

Today is the first day of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week....I am soooooo stoked!!!!
A little stressed out, but stoked all the same. Tonight we are kicking off the week with a vigil at 10:30 to honor those who have lost their lives to or who are struggling/have struggled with an eating disorder. Julie, Jamison, and I are all going to give a 5ish minute talk. I think I'm going to open and close mine with a Bible verse. We shall see. I'm getting ready to write it now, actually....wish me luck!!

We spent an hour and a half today hanging up posters and putting all the fliers on all the tables, etc. We got the table tents put up in Cowan (thanks to Tammy), and our tables with fliers and brochures are totally kickass. We are just kickass girls. Seriously, we are so incredibly awesome. We don't care what anybody has to say about it, and we don't care if anybody ELSE recognizes our awesomeness, because WE realize it, and we have worked our butts off to get all this together. It is going to be an AMAZING week. Filled with stress, yes, but it is still going to be amazing. Like really, uh-mazing.

And the convo on Tuesday, well, it's goin got be pretty awesome, too. It's going to be given by a dietician, Tina Thompson, and afterward we are going to have a student panel (consisting of Julie, Jamison, and me) to answer audience members' questions. Should be verrrrrry interesting.

Okay, that's all I've got time to write for now....I have to get to work on my vigil speech and homework....so much to do so little time!!!!

<3>


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Late Night, Short Post, More Tomorrow.

Just a short note to say I will be writing a decent-length blog tomorrow....I am so beat right now....

Another short note: We had Jesus with sprinkles tonight....fun was had by all.

Another Another short note: I am getting to go eat dinner with my cousin tomorrow night (I guess technically tonight), and I am totally stoked.

Another Another Another short note: I CAN'T WAIT for Saturday.

Another Another An-------- A complaint: I don't see why my religion professor clearly makes his disdain for Christians a topic so frequently discussed in class. We are here to LEARN FACTS, not listen to your opinions of how stupid and uneducated we Christians are. Bro. Harold Cathey could totally take you....bring it on.

I spent a grand total of 8-9 hours studying today....someone shoot me, now, please.

Night, All.

Much Love,

<3>

Back to the grindstone....Another Monday, Another Week.

Okay, so I've got another Monday under my belt. Well, almost. I'm practically finished with today, because I don't have any more classes, but more homework looms ahead in the night.

I'm a little freaked out right now....phones are acting screwy....and all of my messages have mysteriously disappeared from my outbox....you may be asking yourself, "What's so strange about that?" and I will, in fact, tell you.

1.) I called Rog today and his phone didn't ring....seconds were elapsing on my phone, but his wasn't ringing, so I hung up my end and called him again. It rang this time, but he didn't answer (I later found out he had been on the phone with someone else), so I left a voicemail. He called me back like 2 minutes later, and I had assumed he had gotten my voicemail....but this was not the case. He thought something was wrong with me, because he got a text message from my number that said "PLEASE CALL". At face value, there is nothing that seems strange about that, but the thing is, I hadn't sent the message. He double checked to see if it was, in fact, from me, and yeah, it said it was from my name and number. Weeiiiiirrrrrrrdddd....because then I checked my outbox, and all of my outgoing messages had been erased. Now, I don't make a practice of deleting any of my text messages. Actually, I don't EVER delete ANY messages at ALL....which makes this scenario even weirder.

So what is going on here?? I'm a little spooked....whether I should be, or not. I am definitely a little shaken, as anyone who knows me can understand, because I get scared really easily. While some may chalk up this little occurrence to some weird mixed signals/crossed lines thing, I'm not so easily convinced. It all seems too weird to me....I guess it's sort of like the age-old question, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" And of course, the answer is, "The world my never know."

I think I'm going to go work on the NEDAW flyers....we're having a meeting during common hour on Thursday so I feel like I should have SOMETHING accomplished.

Much Love and God Bless,

<3>

School Daze....

Getting ready to go to class, and I can barely keep my eyes open. I need to go to the doctor to see if he can prescribe me some heavy duty sleep meds so I don't have anymore of these (nearly) sleepless nights. It's seriously getting old.

Am lit time....post more later, I'm sure.

Much Love and God Bless,

<3>

Time for Another....

Okay, so I'm writing a new post, yet again, when I should be doing my religion homework. =/

Not much has happened since I wrote my last blog yesterday. I've had several downs since then, but I'm trying to keep everything in perspective and look at this situation as a "blessing in disguise," although I'm really struggling to see the blessing right now. Maybe it will get better soon....I can only hope so.

::EDIT::
No longer going hiking. Looks like I'm doing homework all day.
::EDIT::

I was up into the wee hours of the morning last night....2:15ish....which is wayyyyyy past my bedtime. I think I probably didn't get tired before then because I had had a bottle of DMD earlier in the day. Still, though, I wouldn't think the caffeine would last THAT long....that would be, like 8 hours....totally crazy. But until yesterday I hadn't had caffeine for a long while, so it very well could have lasted that long.

I'm really in the mood to watch "The Cutting Edge," but unfortunately I have to do my stupid work. We are not allowed to have fun at Centre College. We must do work....all the time....zero fun sir. Okay, okay, that's a lie....we have fun here, of course, but this weekend has been filled with nothing but reading, reading, reading, and reading for my classes tomorrow and Tuesday. I have a feeling this is going to become the story of my life this semester....I am going to do nothing but read what is assigned to me. I think I have said something similar to that in a blog before, but I'm saying it again, so there. =)

I really want to go home for a few days....Each time I come back I enjoy it less and less because I really want to be at home. That's not to say I don't like it here, because I totally do, but I just think I would be happier if I could stay at home. Maybe I'm just convincing myself of that because I'm not making any new friends........and I know that my family will always be there at home for me, as well as the boyfriend, and I just long for home sometimes....obviously, this is one of those times.

With that said, I wouldn't go to college anywhere but here. Sure, it's really, really hard, and sure, I don't get to do a lot outside of schoolwork, but I honestly think this is the best school in the south and one of the best in the nation. I can't wait to graduate from here and say, "Hey, I have a degree from Centre College." Yeah, that will be a proud day. =)

Okay, I've rambled enough....time to get back to work.

Much Love and God Bless,

<3 Becca

One down, four to go.

Okay, so I finally finished reading my Emerson essay for American Lit, and am now frantically searching the net for something that will help me better understand it. Shouldn't be too difficult, because I'm pretty sure it's a fairly famous essay. Google must have something, because it's not on Sparknotes. I hate to rely on search engines, but I figure it can't hurt. I mean, I just read the entire essay, so it's not like I'm trying to find a substitute for reading it....I just am trying to be able to understand the concepts a little better. I get the main ideas, or at least I think I get the main idea, but the intricacies are a little harder to interpret. Thank goodness for scholarly journals published for public viewing on the web. =)

With that said, I still have to read for my other classes. I figure I'll read my American History tonight and my History of Christian Thought and Humanities tomorrow. I also need to designate some part of tomorrow for my Humanities writing assignments for Tuesday. Sorry, I know this is boring reading, but I'm just sorting through my thoughts.

Went on a walk today....did I mention that in my earlier blog?? I think I probably did. I'm going hiking at the wildlife refuge with Katie tomorrow around 12:30....it will be nice to get away from all this work that is totally swamping me, already, and this is only the start of the semester. I have a feeling I will be doing not much more than reading my assigned readings for all 4 main classes all semester.

Oh yes, then there's HHP. Thankfully for me, my HHP class got canceled on Thursday, so my first one isn't until Tuesday. Although thankfully for me, our teacher sent us an e-mail saying we don't need the have the HHP book, so I get to take that back to the bookstore and get about $70.00ish dollars back....score!! I will be $70 dollars richer....which is always a good thing. A little extra money never hurt anyone now, did it?? Nope. Sure didn't.

I feel as if I have been very unproductive today....I probably could have finished a lot more work up to this point than I HAVE gotten finished, but out of necessity for contact with the outside world I talked to Mom, Kimmy, and Holly on AIM and talked to Rog on the phone, all of which have taken up 2-3 hours of today. Add to that the time I've been Facebooking, Myspaceing, and Blogging and factor in the UK game....I've wasted the larger pat of today doing stuff that is totally counterproductive to my studying. I need to stop....but I just don't have the willpower. In my mind, it's the weekend, and I deserve to have SOME fun. I already decided to not rush anymore and wait until the fall, so, since everyone else is at rush, I am having my own fun online. =)

I complain about homework a LOT, already, but truth of the matter is, I love college. I would much rather have these IMMENSE amounts of work and be in college than to not have to study at all and be in high school. Seriously, even WITH all of this stress of finishing the work and going to a super challenging school (albeit it was my decision), it's SOOOOOOO much better than high school. high school sucked, plain and simple. Oh well, no need to dwell on the past....unfortunately that's something I'm very good at doing.

No, I take that back. I don't DWELL on the past, I reminisce about the past, or at least parts of it, and I experience nostalgia for a lot of things I've done. HOWEVER, that doesn't keep me from living in the PRESENT and looking toward the FUTURE. I think I have a very bright future ahead of me, that is, provided I make it through these next 3 and a half years. Ideally, once I graduate from Centre, I will find a journalism position, and be able to write for a living....which is what I love to do more than anything. Actually, it would be even MORE ideal if I could start with a journalism job, but eventually just write books for a living, although I realize the life of an author isn't exactly glamorous. It's not exactly a profession that's easy to break into....there are a lot of writers out there and, comparatively speaking, bery few of them make enough money off of their novels alone to live a life other than that of a "starving author." Who knows, though?? Maybe I CAN make it big....one day....eventually....we'll just have to wait and see. THAT would be the dream job.

Speaking of DREAMS, though, I have much bigger plans than just writing. As most of you who know me already know, my dream for SEVERAL years down the road is to open up a treatment facility in Ashland for women and girls with eating disorders. I don't want to be a therapist or nurse there, or even work in the admissions building....I want to be the founder/President and CEO of the facility. I want it to be very similar to Remuda's program, and I want to be the one who tells her story at the Family Week sessions. Simply, I want to be the "Ward Keller" of Ashland, KY. For those of you that DON'T know who Ward Keller is, he is the man who founded Remuda. Here's what one website about Remuda says about Ward:

"Ward Keller, founder of Remuda Ranch, developed this specialized treatment program as a result of helping his daughter in her battle with anorexia. Ward's experience with his daughter's illness and recovery inspired him to establish Remuda Ranch and help other families who have a loved one with an eating disorder. Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia opened in January of 1990 and now offer the highest standard of professional care.

As President and CEO, Ward remains actively involved in the day-to-day operations of Remuda. He also sits on the Board of the Wickenburg Regional Hospital, the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA), and is an executive consultant to the Remuda Foundation."

Seriously, that man is amazing. Remuda's program has helped thousands of women and girls, from age 8-68, get on the road to recovery. I want to be able to say the same about the program I will establish someday. I already have the first five dollars for the facility, given to me by my high school counselor, Mr. Jeff Carroll, when I told him one day my senior year what my big plans were. That was really amazing for me. It's nice to have so many people believe in me and believe that I can do whatever I determine I am going to do. It's a great vote of confidence to have so many people backing my decisions, in all aspects of life, and to know that I am definitely not alone in my dream. I have an amazingly supportive family, boyfriend, and several people who might as well be family to me, and they all know that I can, and WILL, do this before my life is said and done, God-willing, that is.

I truly am blessed in nearly every aspect of my life. God has blessed me with many gifts and abilities, yes, but also with a network of support and encouragement of which most people could only dream. As anyone who knows me can attest, I am a very ambitious individual, and when I set out to make something happen, I will make it happen, but what some don't recognize is that I couldn't do a fraction of what I do if it were not for the sense of hope and faith instilled in me by God and the people who are close to and care about me.

So, in all honesty, I complain about a lot of little things in life, all things about which I shouldn't complain; I get frustrated with myself and my situations very easily, and tend to lose perspective of what really matters; I take things for granted at times, and don't always give God the thanks He deserves; but when it comes right down to it, I know that my life simply couldn't be any better than this.

As Always, Much Love and God Bless, Forever and Ever,

<3>

Go UK!!

Go UK!! Yes, we totally won. Three consecutive wins. That's three in a row. Bringing us to a total of having more wins than losses....doesn't matter how small the margin is, we still have more wins than losses. Go UK!!

My ever-so (un)eventful Saturday.

So when I should be doing homework, I am instead blogging and watching the UK game. It's a pretty intense game, but I didn't even know we were playing until a few minutes ago, and the second half is almost over. Oh well, hopefully we'll pull through another win. Maybe if we keep winning, we'll actually be in the NCAA tournament this year. Yeah, about that.

So, I took a walk with my friend Katie in downtown Danville today. She brought her little black pug along....VERY cute dog. She graduated from here last year, and she was the one who organized and coordinated NEDAW here last year while I was doing it in Ashland. I found her this summer on the coordinators website, and we've been e-mailing/phoning ever since, so it was glad to finally get to see her in person. We had fun walking downtown Danville. =)

Mom just called, and reminded me to get an absentee ballot for the primary in May. I toldher I'd already been thinking about it, and I'm totally voting for Hillary, hands down. I think I'm pretty much in the minority here on Centre's campus....There's only one other person I know that is for Hillary, but you know what?? I don't care if I'm in the minority or not....nothing wrong with that. The only thing is, I wish I were in the majority, because that would mean there's more of a chance of Hillary getting the nomination.

Omigosh....this game is killing me!!

I've been reading some Emerson for American Lit., and I just have a hard time interpreting things, sometimes. It's not exactly easy reading....such is life as Centre College. I still have a chapter in my History book to read, the majority of the first 8 cantos of Dante's Inferno, and a lot to read for History of Christian Thought....looks like I know what I'm doing the rest of the day and night today and tomorrow....fun stuff, yeah.

Well, I don't really have much to say, today....I just found out some really great vegetarian news....and I am totally gloating to Rog. ;-)

Okay, I won't bore anyone anymore with the uneventful things going on in my life today any longer.

I really wish I were home....

Much Love and God Bless,

Becca

My life right now.

Okay, so since I haven't been able to post stuff like this for a long time, mainly because I don't ever use Xanga anymore and Facebook and Myspace blogs aren't conducive to daily blogging, I am really excited to have a place where I can post as often as I would like, and whatever I would like to post.


First things first:

Life is going pretty well right now, considering the fact that I am back at Centre for Spring Term. I am proud to say that I passed Fall Term and I did better than pass Centre Term....I got an A- in my class....a MAJOR accomplishment for anyone here at Centre, especially after Fall Term was really difficult for me. Now, don't get me wrong, Centre Term was also really, REALLY stressful, and I had to work a LOT, but somehow I got a much better grade than I did on average in my Fall Term classes. Stupid Calc and Econ screwed me over, and definitely turned me off of wanting to be an Econ major.

I am more than happy, as far as my relationships go. I have this amazingly awesome boyfriend, and I love him to death. He says the same about me, too, so I think it's a good situation on all sides!! =)

I had an amazing winter break last week....it was seriously much needed, even though we only had 3 weeks worth of Centre Term classes. I got to spend a lot of time with Roger (the boyfriend) as well as my family, so it was all around a great time!! The only thing I didn't get to do was go ice skating in the park, but perhaps I'll get to do that if I get to go home for Valentine's weekend....that would be WONDERFUL. It is really cold, now, so it should still be open in two weeks.

We started back classes yesterday and finished our first half-week today. I think all my classes are going to go really, really well, especially my American Lit. class. Unfortunately, with Am. Lit., History, Religion, AND Humanities, I am going to have to do a LOT of reading. I already have about 200 pages to do this weekend for Monday, and another 40 more for Tuesday, so tomorrow and Sunday should be verrrrrry interesting. We'll see how THAT goes.

Tonight has been a very emotional night....filled with nostalgia, sadness, pain, and just altogether a myriad of adjectives for sad, but are much more intense than just saying "sad." I am quite F.I.N.E. tonight, although notsomuch E, because I am definitely not emotionally stuffing it at ALL. I have cried for the better part of the night from 7:30 til' now (like, three hours), for a couple main reasons.

I just don't get people sometimes....they absolutely confound me. I don't see how people can believe one thing one day, but then totally change their outlook to the other extreme the next....it just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, I guess I'm not meant to understand why people do what they do, but I just wish I could understand them a little better. I guess all I can do for anyone is just pray for them and try to be understanding.

Went to Wal-Mart with Salome tonight....it was certainly an adventure. We went shopping for a few things, and ended up spending like $63 dollars combined. We searched the store over several times for a shower caddy for her....finally found one....ONE....in the entire STORE. Haha, such is life, I suppose.

People are already being very loud out in the hallway....I mean, honestly, do they have an aversion to NOT screaming?? I seriously think they must.

Tried to watch a movie tonight....too much on my mind....so I decided to create a new blog, instead.

Much Love and God Bless,

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